Lists - No Holds Barred

Let's list down:

1. When you said we talk too much, you are the one talking way too much. Kiter mane ade bebual bnyk. Kau tulis panjang2 pun, kiter buat bodoh.

2. Memang dulu kite ader misunderstanding ngan Shidah/Iman. Kau jgk dgn kiter. Bebual blakang jgk per. Biler dah baik, kau pun baik. Kau nak ckp kiter step gerek, kau pun step gerek.

3. Ape2 kwn2 kau ckp, main iye kan aje. "Exactly. Exactly." Nak bebual face-to-face boleh ah. Tapi kan, call tak angkat, msg tak reply, mcm maner nak jumpe. Oh, jadi marah ah aku tak reply PM kau?

4. Kau tgk balik post kau, kau yg start dulu, baru Airul masuk. Abih nak ckp org perangai mcm bdk2. Saper yg tulis bnyk2, panjang2, saper yang attention-seeker skrg?

5. Kau pat friendlist aku per. Obviously, whatever you post aku leh nmpk ah. Jgn ckp aku stalk or view2 kau nye profile.

6. Kenape eh mesti delete Airul? Tak salah sudah ah. Oh luper, kau tak rugi pape. Oops, like Airul said, mcm maner tak rugi, duit dah kene kebas.

7. 'Ooohhh... Takutnye' These two words boleh buat mulut aku mcm sial ke?

8. Aku pakai tudung, dosa tetap ader ok. I do have my flaws.

9. Yes, aku tunang Airul. So? Aku tak masuk campur ah hal dier ngan kwn2. If Kam got the balls, talk to Airul himself. And that explains why I don't reply your bloody PM. Ader hal ngan Airul, bebual ngan dier sendiri ah. Nak ckp Iman takde balls, dier ader. Walaupun takut bini, at least dier sendiri yang pergi pat Airul, settle aper2 yg patut.

10. If I'm not wrong, kau ader mention 'she fed with lies or whatever'. Asal? Airul kene fitnah ke? Ouh, kau punye Kam baik sangat tak pernah tipu kau. LOL!! Takpe ah. Aku tak nak main busuk.

11. Kalau kau nye post takde kene mengene ngan aku, aku terase, then my bad ah. Paiseh sendiri. I will admit.

Actually, hal nie senang je. Why need to run away? Tak boleh bayar one lump sum, bayar installment. Airul nye orang senang je. Aku pun hutang dier duit. Bayar sikit2 jgk. Org lain pun hutang dier duit, samer jgk. And then you want to blame us for not being understanding.

Kau nak cakap aper pun pasal aku & Airul, ckp lah. Kiter tak kisah. We can only laugh. Because the thing is, everything is pointed back to you. Kau yang bebual bnyk abih nak suruh kiter diam. Where's the logic?

Love,
nUr

All I hear is blah blah blah

I have found my reasons. Reasons on why I sympathize more towards animals than human. Why I care more about animals to children. Because animals, they are loyal. You adopted them, pampered them and in return, they are so 'manja' towards you. They wanna be with you, sleep beside you... haha... and they give you a sneeze. I'm in that situation now. *ahchoo* *ahchoo*

But I couldn't have sympathize more with Airul. If I were to tell him to stop helping people, nah uh, he'll say 'no'. He will try his very best to help whoever he can. Whenever he can. Even if he can't, he will say to that person, "I wish I can help but I'm sorry I can't". He's being accused of things, being bad mouthed by people and what-not. He still keep his cool.

Hey, everybody talk behind everybody's back. What makes you so perfect? You don't bloody practice what you preach. Think before you speak. When I look at things, hear what people are saying, and when you point your finger at someone, remember 3 fingers are pointing back at ya. Your words seem to backfire. Get the facts right. And some people who don't know anything, come barging in like they know everything.

Because we know what's right, we don't really need to explain ourselves. We don't really need to flare up, temperature rising, and then make an ass out of ourselves and look stupid.

So go on there. Live under that shelter which covers you from the truth. Stay there because the truth hurts. Oh yes, it does hurts.

No more Backstabbers.

What's up with this stabbing here & there? I can just laugh my ass off by reading the news. And then there was this recent case at Ang Mo Kio Ave 10. Someone's arm had been hacked, he was seriously injured, I think, but not deadly. I can only laugh because you just knew that the person gonna get caught. True enough, today Berita Harian, a 16 or 17 year old already been caught.

Come on. Downtown East, Bukit Panjang, Yishun and Ang Mo Kio, within 48 hrs, police are on them. This is Singapore. You can neither run nor hide.

And another laughing matter to me is today's news at Berita Harian about gangsterism. Kind of focusing on the Malays. There's this sentence, "Kawan 'pakai baju', saya pun nak 'pakai baju'. Kalau ada apa-apa, dia orang jaga." (A friend joined a gang group, I feel like joining too. Anything, they can take care of us.) When a fight breaks out? Yes , of course. When you get caught? Are they going to help bail you out? Are they going to hire a lawyer to defend you? And what's more? You are not happy, so you spill the beans. Who's with you, who's involve and so on.

Yes, there are such thing as brotherhood and jiwa members. But in gangsterism, brotherhood exist when there's fight. True brotherhood exist in Italian Mafia and Yakuza (Japanese Mafia). I'm not going to say like I know everything, so you guys just Google and read it up.

So, Singapore is no longer safe with people attacking random people or people they knew, but this is Singapore. Need I say more?

Love,
nUr

My 3-days Weekend

Day 1 (Friday, 15 Oct)

Double Date

The night before, my helmet was stolen. Let's just skip that part. We went for so-called, dinner? While waiting for Fidah to finish work. While still waiting, I get myself KOI. Boo!!! I don't understand why they stationed some China girl to take order, unless she understands some simple English. And the movie, 'The Child's Eye', suspense but crap. After that, YAY!! Finally, somebody pampered me with Ben & Jerry's. OMG!! Yum! Yum! Yum! I want some more...

My adorable fiancee




Fidah & Wan Berok


Yum! Yum! Chunky Monkey & Chocolate something-something


Love of my Life

Day 2 (Saturday, 16 Oct)

Girlfriends Meet-up

Girlfriends

Finally, after so long, we are able to have this meet-up. Before Kak Jar joined us, we had Breeks. Ouh, before that, Sop is the one who is usually late, but, :D, I'm the last person to arrive. Heh! Anyways, after Breeks, walked all the way to One Fullerton to have our Starbucks there. A very warm and hazy night. It's been a while since I went there. Marina Bay Sand looks so nice. Great for photo-shooting. And of course, Nana, with her new updates. I'm happy for her. We all are. And I hope she is too.

Nana




Me & Sop


Sop & Kak Jar

Day 3 (Sunday, 17 Oct)

Lunch at Carousel, Royal Plaza

Kak Aini gave us a treat. I'm a dessert person. So, the dessert was tempting. It was like a buffet. There's sushi, cold seafood (my first-time trying), assorted desserts, bread, side dishes and many more. Their bread pudding was yummy-licious. I'm gonna learn how to do it. Second attempt failed :,( Did I mentioned chocolate fondue? OMG!! Crème brûlée. Yum! Very sweet though. I'm so gonna bring my family here. Ok, not here but Grand Hyatt, Straits Kitchen. I'm gonna give my family a treat on Mum's birthday in December.

At the end of the day, I'm broke. Bah!! Not really. Quite tight that's all. Go out spend money, bought new helmet but dad's gonna pay me back 'cause he liked that helmet. Yup, my helmet was returned by don't-know-who. And today I just spend $100... for my Singtel Bills. Ok... At least money is coming in from dockets.

Love,
nUr

Batam Trip

I AM LAZY TO UPDATE ABOUT MY BATAM TRIP :D

Let me summarize then.


























1 - Karaoke
2 - Nice food
3 - Nonsense food but nice
4 - Seafood
5 - Shopping
6 - More karaoke

And I only spend SGD200.

Love,
nUr

Soon...

I'm back from Batam last week, Saturday. Too tired. Soon people. Soon, I will blog about my Batam trip.

Love,
nUr

Shout Out!!

AIRUL BIN BUJANG

I LOVE YOU!!!

Come! Lemme give you a smoochy smoochy baby!



Love,
nUr

Wedding Dreams

I just had to blog this down. I had a dream. Now only it suddenly ting! I dreamt about my wedding. I was preparing for my wedding. It was like the whole show case of wedding dias, clothings and stuff like those in expo and there's only me. Only for me. Well, I know Ayun was there somewhere. The best part was, there's a horse carriage. Just like I wanted for my wedding.

Let me give out a loud HAHA!! I'm sure there's no escort so please give me my horse! But, confirm kene reject. Pfft! I'm happy. Even though it was just a dream but me still happy. But I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna get those horse carriage of mine and a pram like this :D



But it would be nice to have it in white and lacey, like Victorian style.

P/S: My blog needs a make-over

Love,
nUr

Stop Crying

I keep telling myself to stop crying like half an hour ago. I wanted to quit but I have to keep trying. But everytime I try, I got turned down. It's been ages since my bf and I had dates. We seemed to never go out anymore. No more quality time spend. Yes, I did understand he has to work but if I can make time for him, why not him? Yes, he does love me. I do feel his love lately. Like I always said, walk the talk. "Saying 'I love you' is not the words I want to hear from you..."

Ok, to make things clear, I'm not crying because I got turned down. I'm crying because I'm afraid of what I'm going to do. Ok, it's not like I have the intention to do it. I'm just afraid I might do it. I'm afraid I might find myself another boyfriend. That would hurt Ayun very badly. But if this goes on, I'm afraid it might happen. And I will never blame him.

But I have a secret. Not a secret anymore. Not afraid to say it here cause Ayun is an internet noob. Not IT savvy at all. So here goes; my reason to ask him out is to let him know that we are going to get engage. Let's just say, I'm going to propose to him. I planned it out already. Once again, he's a surprise spoiler. I'm giving ourselves 3 months to prepare. But whatever...

love,
nUr

Not meant to be

Guess what? I had my TP today. Guess what? I got 12 points. :). Guess what? 1 Immediate Failure! :( I don't know what happened but I kinda lose control of the bike, braked quite hard and my right foot came down. My tester called my number and he said, "Bagus nie 12 points tapi sayang...?". It was at the starting point, depan2 tester. Nevermind. Bukan rezeki. But then, kene tunggu till 28 October for my TP again. So long...

Anyways, I'm still quite pissed. Takpe lah. I think I know behind the reason for not passing my TP.

Ok. Selamat Hari Raya!

Love,
nUr

I Lost My Faith

Today I told Aziz that I lost faith in marriage. So, how can someone lost the faith when she haven't go through it? The one closest to me, of course my family, doesn't have problems with marriage. Relatives. Yes. Friends. Yes. When people asked me when I'm getting married, I have no straight answer. So, I've been with Ayun like 6 years now, of course it's time but I don't know if it can last forever.

Then, watched Tyra Banks show just now. About pregnancy and she smokes. My Ayun smokes which I hate. I told him if we were to get married and he doesn't stop smoking, no children. About the lady at Tyra Show. Her family has no history of asthma but because of smoking, her two children had asthma. I told myself if I had a baby and it has asthma or any illness due to smoking, I will blame Ayun (if he still smokes). But if he quits and we had a baby after that, it has illness like asthma, I will accept its fate. So the best I think, well I already plan, after marriage, I will give Ayun (if he's my husband) one year to quit smoking. Or else no baby. If he wanted so much to have a family, he has my permission for second wife. Really.

I don't want to think negative especially the marriage part. But, we may never know the future. In twenty years time, will we be as loving as now? Sucks huh. Ok, thinking about the book, Who Moved My Cheese? I think I will worry about the future, well in the future. The present is important to me right NOW. Live without worry.

I hope my Ayun will read this blog. It's hard to tell him what I think. He will either lost his mood or ignore it. If this is how things are, how are we going to get married when there's no communication? I seems to have more and more reasons not to tie the knot.

Love,
nUr

So Materialistic!

I admit I am. So many things to buy, I wonder whether I need it. First of all, I need to clear my 2B license ASAP. Tak tahan babe. Makin syiok naik motor. Haha. I still like got 6 lessons to go, if i manage to survive. Next lesson is my 4.02. U-turn and pillion too. Did a try out on Friday. A okay. Did a calculation hopefully I will be able to finish by July.

Will wait for Ayun's payday. Then I will use his pay slip and buy laptop through installment. I even asked my girlfriend to help, she is willing to. My motherboard spoil again and my stubborn father still wanted to sent for repair. I asked for new laptop, which I will pay installment to him, but guess what he bought? Another flat screen LCD. Seriously, I was pissed off. Because I my school is important, and my brother fucking desktop has too much programmes and games, which will cause lag, so I can't use my CS4.

Next, saving up money for school study trip to China. September. I decided to go because it will be on fasting month and it will be great to see how the Muslim people in China celebrate Ramadan.

Next, trade in my Samsung F408 for Sony Ericsson W705. Then maybe trade in my Canon 1000D for 450D? How about 50D? Then saving up for iPod Touch 14gb. Then $$ for dentist, Baby's vaccination and what else? Erm, June is coming, so GSS? hahahaha

I need to discipline myself to spend only at the end of the month.

love,
nUr

B.S

I never liked wedding escorts. Dunno why. Sometimes it's fun to watch their actions and stuff, but never asked me to follow.

And if I were to marry Ayun, he wanted bike escorts. Well, honey, thanks for my CRASHING my dream wedding! Because I always knew where I stand. Whatever!

Anyways, fined for smoking Shisha was totally BS. First of all, I'm a non-smoker. Ok, here's the thing. Haji Lane is a hot spot for? Shisha. And majority of them, well in fact, people who went there, their intentions or motives would be? To smoke shisha. So, why would a non-smoker would want go there? I mean, when we asked our friends to go to Haji Lane, obviously to smoke shisha. You get my point right?

If some shops around the shisha shops were still open, then it's understandable, not to smoke near the shops or sit around there. But at night, the shops are closed, and shisha shops are the ones that are open. So come on, loosen up a bit, would ya?

Darn. Can't get out of this country.

Love,
nUr

So What!

Watching S Factor as I type. The debates had passed. I don't like Sonia and Michelle. Personally, hate Sonia the most. They said Kris was unattractive. Look, I'm not a fan of this kind of show but there's nothing else to watch. And Sonia just got eliminated. Great! So what if she's a good-looking girl.

"People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you"

She said people hate her because she's pretty. I hate her because she was mean. Pretty girls are mean girls! I know a few. That's why I try not to judge or criticize people. That's why I like that girl who auditioned for FHM. The one who said, "I have the face of the cover". True, she's not that attractive but, I like her confidence. She don't care. Who cares! So what! <--- I like this phrase by Tyra.

I'm fat. So what!
I'm unattractive. So what!
I'm short. So what!

Haha... New school semester tomorrow. My last year. Monday blues! 8am to 6pm.

Love,
nUr

Show Off

Today. Tuesday. 14 April. 2A licence. BBDC. Starting time, 2005hr. Tag: SP 11.

So damn pissed off at this malay guy. So I fell a couple of times. Well, alot! It's the 'S' and crank course. I was excited and scared and nervous. I was scared to open my throttle because if too fast I might as well went up the kerb. Ok. My eye direction is important.

Anyways, about this dumb ass guy. After the crank course, turned left, I lost control of my bike and fell. I picked bike up and the instructor came running, start the engine and everything, I was on the bike again. So this guy stopped behind another bike, just nice, next to me. He asked me this (with a stucked up shit face) in malay, "Motor berat sangat ka pe?" English - Bike heavy or what? In a way, he's trying to say, "Tu pun boleh jatuh."

At first I was blur, as always, and then I realised his tone and dumb ass shit face, fuck him. Seriously, from just now, bingit sey. Punye lah action. Some guys when learning 2A, passed by in front of me, will blow2. To me, that's okay. But this guy... argh! He made me so damn mad. Baru nak blajar 2A ke? My boyfriend dah ade. Argh! Seriously, the way he rode just now, was just damn action. Show off. Even the instructor was like looking at him.

I will never forget him. White shirt. Then pakai that long sleeve thing. That's why sometimes I would love for my Ayun to pick me up in certain places, because of stuck up guy like him. In a way, sometimes I would love to show off my Ayun. Huh!

I bruised myself. Ouch! Night!

Freaking out!

I spoke too soon. I don't think I'm ever ready for marriage, let alone engage. Because somehow I know or feel that my marriage won't last long.

A simpler way to put it.

Whatever I do, was never APPRECIATED!

Whatever I say, was never HEARD!

Whatever I felt, was never BOTHERED!

COMMUNICATION is never there! It's so hard to talk to him nowadays. Always.

Ok, so here's the weird thing. Today I just found out my uncle, paternal side, was admitted to hospital due to virus in his heart. What's weird?

First, I dreamt someone looked like my late grandma, came to my house. She was fat and looks exactly like my grandma. I was shocked then my mum said, "This is your grandma's sister"... something like that. My late grandma's siblings all had passed on except one. Brother.

Second, I dreamt about my uncle, the one admitted to hospital. He was cleaning the windows outside. The one that maid usually died of. So we shouted his name and asked him to go back inside. He looked at us, laughed, did some stunt and... he fell. I saw blood.

Thirdly, I dreamt about my late grandma again. Exactly the same dream I had the first time but this time round, she's thin.

So, I was shocked to find out my uncle was admitted to hospital. What does grandma had to do with it? Erm, nothing? But I just hope and pray to God nothing will happen.

Ok. Back to my research. And I just found out I have no freaking vacations!!! After attachment, weekend, then back to school. Argh!

Love,
nUr

Have a nice Anniversary!

1745hr. Today. Make-up removed. Clothes in the washing machine. I have stop hoping.

He had 3 choices:
1 - Friday. Still can meet up.
2 - Saturday. Optional.
3 - Today, Sunday.

It would be nice if he chooses opt 3 because it's our darn anniversary! 6 years & 1 month. We do celebrate it monthly unless busy but we always make time for it. And today he had 2 choices:

1 - Me OR
2 - his darn helmet (something about his cutting helmet's strap bla bla bla)

Isn't it obvious? Went to madrasah. Dressed up. Because I'm still hoping. Reached home around 1550hr. Still hoping. 1745hr. Forget it. Tomorrow? Don't think about it. I don't wanna.

I won't complain anymore. Many hints given. "Are you free on weekend?". "I feel like eating at Sakura"... bla bla bla. I still had the coupons for Sakura and Bali Thai which Ayun get which expire 30 April 2009. I'm not gonna do anything about it. I already told him. If he wants to go out with me, he plans. I won't remind him anymore.

Have a nice Happy Anniversary!

Love,
nUr

P-I-S-S-I-N-G

Seriously, I hate my ITP. It's killing me!!! I'm bored to death. Then there's this one staff, let's call her 'A'. I don't like her. Fine! So I was late. 10 mins. When I came in, she looked at me like one kind. I was about to say 'Good Morning' but with face like that, 'Go to hell!' After I sat for awhile, she called for me. I went to her and once again she looked at me and kind of walked off. Was about to when I called for her and she said the pantry is my job. No need for her to remind me. She said with a smile or laugh. The kind that not... sincere? I don't know but you what I mean right? I know it's my job but I just did it once. Like a few weeks back. Someone had already did it when I came so I thought today someone has done it already too. The job is simple. Boil water. Hah!

And then today I had to give the whatever job sheets, need her to sign and stuff. She had to come to me a few times, telling me to fill in this and that, I forgot this and that. She said she hated to remind me and stuff. Oh yah, she said with a laugh at the end. Maybe she doesn't want me to know she's kinda mad at me. Hah! Of course I need you to remind me. I don't understand your instructions because you are mumbling and second, you are speaking through your nose. Then last two weeks job sheet I had to give to my supervisor which I don't know because 'A' just gave me the paper after signing without telling me. Then once again, she pissed off at me. Whatever! I just can't wait for this ITP to end.

Of course the other two interns can click with the staff here because they are all of the same race. And of course, this company here is 100% related to the course they are studying. Then there's this intern forever kan-chong.

Tomorrow I'll be the first the come. If not, at least I will come before 'A' and when she walks in, turn her head to the right, there I am. This place is not welcoming at all. Well, a few of them are very kind like my supervisor. The boss? I won't say much.

Seriously, I'm bored and I'm reading this book called, 'The Present'. The Secret to Enjoying Your Work and Life, Now. So, I'm trying to enjoy the present.

I'm so pissed off at a lot of people. From my ITP to my work place.

So lesson learnt. Find your own company for internship. Find something you like then it will be enjoyable. Adios!

Mad for Nothing

"I love everything about you"... Teet! That is seriously BS. Come on. You gotta admit it. There's no way you going to love everything about your significant other. When you're quarelling, everything will come out. "This is why or what I don't like about you...bla bla...." Hey, there's always flaws, and a relationship with no arguments?... Too perfect almost too boring. But of course, no couple likes that.

Haha. You know that Ne-yo song Mad? There's one part saying, "Fighting 'bout nothing". I think that's what I like, or rather love, to do to Ayun. Suke carik pasal. Agaknye Nur dah boring. Rase macam dier jarang layan Nur gitu. Sometimes my Ayun is just too cute. Torturing him is fun. DomiNURtrix! hahahaha....

Gotta a secret to tell you. Yesterday,.... nothing. It's a secret. All I know is Ayun cannot send me to school or work or wherever, because then, I will hate to see him go.

Here's a big thing. To me, at least. My Ayun is ready to take our relationship to the next step. Ready means when he finds a proper job which he said soon. And when comes the 'soon', he said end of this year. Here's why it freaks me out. Because I think I'm not ready. Ready as in I'm still childish? I don't know. I still think macam cepat. Whether schooling or not, still cepat. Let me put it this way, "This is who I am and this is what I like. GC, Sum and Blink and MXPX rocking my room. If you look for me then I'll be at the show... I don't wanna be told to grow up".... got it?

Okay. And by ready also means when I found another job. My current job, nah uh, cannot make it. At my age, my current position I would say not for me. Promotion? Fat hope. It's true what Nana said. F&B sector, lots of boot licking. I just hope Ayun agree to me working as... what he's doing now. Tu pun tunggu lesen. Haha. I did try applying for a few jobs but maybe I'm a student that's why. And I need flexibility. So yah... Ayun knows how bagedil I am. Tak kasi tetap buat kan? Little Miss Stubborn. :)

Anyways, right now I'm doing a research for a simple dress. Let's just say I'm making my own simple tunang dress.

Criteria untuk tunang-

Ayun must have a proper job.
Nur, change job.
My dress must be ready.

A simple affair will do.

Love,
nUr

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday... ;)... Hmmm, what's my age again? Seriously, I will never act my age.

Anyways, first of all, thousand apologies to my girlfriends because I could not go out with them yesterday. My family asked me out and also it's was my busy week. Exams and assignments. Cik mah's family and our family went out to together to IMM. And, I got a present ;)... Canon EOS 1000D... Later can testing, testing. Wanted a Nikon but I familiarize myself with Canon already. Think about it, school and friends are using Canon so it will be easier for me to borrow equipments, lens and stuff.

Today, delivering of Plasma LCD TV. Yup, Dad bought like last week. 40" LCD. Get free 25" and compact camera. And also , my parents bought my brother PS3. Wait for the tv, then set up PS3... haha... game on. Then I will forget to do my assigment :)...

Rezeki family.