Empty Inside

Here is Nur blogging in before going to sleep. Nur needs the urge of bursting. The title says it all. Nur nowadays feeling so empty. She doesn't know why. She's happy outside but not inside. Why Nur like crying almost every night before sleeping?

People do change. For the better or for the worse. Her Ayun has change. Like Nur said in her previous blog. Although not a huge or drastic ones. Nur feels that her relationship is not the same anymore. Her Ayun seems like a different person. Let's see. The Ayun before. He spent more time with her. He will some what sacrificed his work for her. He used to be so excited going out with Nana, Hajar, Sop and Syawal.

Talking about Nana sume, today Nur asked Ayun about 26 July outing. Which was like 2 weeks later. Still have time to take off. But he rather work. That wasn't the case before. To set the record straight, Nur is not being unreasonable. She loves how hardworking Airul is. Besides spending time with Nur, he needs to spend time with his friends too. And Nur doesn't stop him from doing that. It's just that they kind of drifted apart. That's how Nur feels or observe. Nisa even asked Nur whether they are still together. Her Ayun may have not notice it or maybe he just denies it.

Nur will soon come to her decision. She felt nothing inside. No emotions. No more excitement when she sees her Ayun. Nur doen't want to hurt her Ayun. Throwing away those five years is a foolish thing to do. But Nur needs her space. She needs to think. She wants him to let her go. For a while. Let Nur be free just for a while. If Nur ever comes back to him, then they belong together. But still, Nur needs to think twice before she makes a stupid decision.

Nur is buying bicycle. Nur is tired. Nur is going to sleep. Nur don't want to think anymore.