Nur is Nur. Nur won't be a hypocrite. Nur don't want people to see her and then restrict to things. Nur is a very open-minded person. You can talk just about ANYTHING to Nur. Just because Nur pakai tudung, you want to say something and oops... because Nur is there. Nur doesn't care. Nur punye wildness masih ade. You wanna talk dirty, fine. Nur still swears and curses and whatever not.

But, Nur knows how to behave in public. And Nur hates it when some makciks looked and stared and all that. As if your anak tu baik sangat. Like Nur said, Nur won't be a hypocrite. Nur can hold her boyfriend's hand, but if some guy wants to shake her hand... shake je ah.

Not all orang yang pakai tudung tu baik or alim. Or yang tak pakai tudung tu jahat. Ingat orang balik dari haji tu iman dier kuat ke? Ahklak dier baik ke? Ikhlas ke? Nur started to wear tudung like 6 years ago. Although it's quite a long time, but Nur still learning. Papa went for pilgrimage and asked Nur to wear tudung, which Nur wore tak iklhas. It took Nur like 2 years to really opened up and sincere about wearing tudung. Nur studied in circular school so Nur punye perangai tu masih ade. Nur is still learning. Sometimes nak kuatkan iman but nampaknye syaitan menang. Kadang2 solat pun tertinggal. Nak go kedai bawah, Nur tak kai tudung.

So that's why Nur don't want to judge people. If you saw orang pakai tudung tu cukur kening, don't judge or think like, "Pakai tudung pun cukur kening." Who knows she was like that before pakai tudung. But that ain't Nur. Nur plucked kening satu helai je, ish dosa Nur rase macam seluas laut. Still remember Nur went for photoshoot, then the makeup artiste makeup for Nur then asked Nur whether she can plucked Nur's eyebrow because she said the picture won't looked good. Nur mati-mati tak nak. The photos still look good. Wonders of pho-shop :) And Nur sometimes apply nail color. And Nur had seen some minah2 fairing apply it too. Nur's reason would be, menses.

Like Nur said, Nur is still learning. Every Sunday go religious class, sometimes it opened up Nur's mind and thinking. Biler dengar ustaz or ustazah bebual, sometimes you realized the sins that you had done, it's like whoa. We are still young, so people like us who went to circular school, their mindset is different from budak2 gi sekolah madrasah. Nur think ah. But whatever it is kan, it's never too late to repent.

Love,
nUr

Men and their ego

So Nur was asked to forget whatever had happened... Okay. There is never a perfect relationship. No matter how you try to avoid it, there's always that argument.

Nur had fun with her girlfriends (Dearies). It's been a quite a while since they get together and they will be meeting again on Wednesday. Hehehehehe... They talked about their lives, what's going on, and of course how things with their boyfriends. The one thing they had in common? Their boyfriends are a jealous freak. The guys will get jealous over silly things like when you say how nice or handsome or how you admire this particular celebrity. That is so dumb. And when the guys say some particular girl is cute or looked like a model, doesn't matter who, the girls just go with the flow. Girls don't have that long story like the guys do. Men and their ego.

And also they talked about marriage. How some of their friends are like already married and have kids where the girls were like, "No no. That's not us. We still have a long way to go, to enjoy." And Nur was like, "Enjoy single life, have a boyfriend, enjoy or experience going into a relationship, get married, enjoy married life, kids will be the last part. Even if it takes 10 years." Career and independent are in the Dearies's mind. They think ahead. Let's put it this way. They don't need a man. They can live without man. If anything were to happen, at least they can support themselves. Anyways, they still love their men though.

Brian McKnight - Still in Love lyric. Because that's how Nur feels about her Ayun.

"I think I must be dreaming
That you are here with me
Must have died and gone to heaven
And it's all that I hoped it would be

When the eagles forget how to fly
When it's twenty below in July
And when violets turn red
And roses turn blue
I'll be still in love with you

I live to be around you
You take my breath away
Can't help but talk about you
Every night and day

When eagles forget how to fly
And it's twenty below in July
And when violets turn red
And roses turn blue
I'll be still in love with you

All I need is you
Need you just to hold me, console me
Over and over... I love you"

Love,
nUr

La Di Da

Can relax kejap because for the study trip can pay using edusave so no worries... Nur still deciding whether to buy that shirt from Metro. 2 for $23 something something. Nur is looking for hooded sweater or some shirt with hood.

Nur had weird dreams. She was on the bike with her Ayun then stopped at traffic light. Got alot of bikes also. Then her Ayun wanted to show off, when the light went green, he cornered and then the bike was like 360 like spinning wheel. It was like flat on the floor but.... (1 hour pause) nothing happened. Nur was so frustrated with her Ayun. Nur hates corner (yup, in real life). Then the next scene was her Ayun became some kind of Hulk but not Hulk. He was huge and err...ugly... like a beast. Nur tried to run but he wouldn't let Nur go.

Anyways, why the 1 hour pause? Nur, Ahmad & Sukri were playing digital monopoly... hahahah... On Ahmad's laptop. Nur won. The both of them declared bankruptcy. hehehe... And the three of them were like wearing green today like it's some kind of Earth Day. But from what Nur knows is that every Wednesday is Plastic Bag Free day.

A little frustrated because today video cameras are all loan out so can't do any shooting. Argh! Nur needs to get it over and done with. Nevermind. Nur will try tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary!

Happy 5 Years 5 Months Anniversary!

Nur was angry for a moment. So hard to contact her Ayun. Low batt. Always! Bluek! Nur wanted her Ayun to pick her from school but nanti kene patah balik. So no need. Waste minyak. Although Nur loves to show off her Ayun. So tomorrow they will be eating at Ya Kun. Nur don't want to eat much. Diet and budget. Need to save for:

• Bintan Study Trip


• Studio Photoshoot with her pet cat, Baby


• New laptop bag & mouse


• Shopping at JB

But Nur's memorable study trip was at Pulau Perhentian, Terenganu, Malaysia. Just the place for Nur. Clear sea water where you can really see the fishes and corals. The fun part was snorkeling. No words can describe the feelings and all Nur can say is she was amazed by God's creations. It was so deep, you can see nemo, sea cucumber, blue corals, angle fish and everything else. To get up close and personal, they had bread in their hands and the fish will come close to eat it. Amazing! Nur wants to snorkeling again and maybe will go to Tioman for scuba diving.

Nur wants to go to bed now. Not sure if can sleep cause at noon Nur was syiok lying beside Baby that she falls asleep. Nur needs nap, not to sleep. It's a diferrent thing altogether.

Okie! Adios! Buh bye! Assalamualaikum.

Love,
nUr

Cadbury Love

Today Nur was tempted. She doesn't know which one to buy but ended buying Cadbury Desserts Tiramisu. A must try! It was so nice! Yummy! Yummy! The coffee creme filling so totally melt in your mouth. Erm, Nur already finished it.... heheh. She was thinking about that Tiramisu for days. It costs $5.55 but FairPrice had discount, $4.80.... :)

Nur was wanting to share it with her Ayun tomorrow but... too irresistible. But still, Nur's number one temptation would be her Adorable Ayun. There's something he said yesterday that Nur found it cute. Nur wouldn't said it here cause he said to keep it a hush hush. But it's cute. Something about email address thingy.

Anyways, Nur totally loves to freak her Ayun out. Like yesterday, when they were in a car, Nur put her hand near the window and roll it up. The auto press roll up. Nur was like, "Aaahhh!". And he was like, "Baby!"... hahaha. Nur is laughing right now.

Nur: "Takde pape lah, I main-main aje"
Ayun:"Bee, terperanjatkan orang aje"
Nur: "Bee, nanti I tunjuk you perkare bodoh k?"

Stopped near the pavement.

Nur: "Bee tengok!"
Nur put her head near the window and roll it up.
Ayun: "Bee!!!!"
Nur: "What!?!? Kan I cakap I nak buat perkare bodoh"
Ayun: "Jgn buat lagi lah."

Her Ayun was like totally freaked out. At a moment he thought the window was really rolling up automatically. He was like putting his hand on his chest as if he's having a heart attack. Adorable!!

Love,
nUr

Random

15 minutes break. Argh! Coding make Nur's head hurts.

Nur had weird dream or rather funny. Nur was having breakfast at Mac when she saw Khairi. Then after that went to see Mama then Nur drove her around. Nur drove through this multi story carpark then hit the side mirror. He dad's gonna killed her! Wuahahahah! Actually that's not all... Malas nak cerita panjang2..

Okay. Later got 2 hours break. Nur going to IMM to deposit check. Then buy choz. Hahaha... Also needs to buy Baby's food. Later, when Nur reach Marsiling.

List of Stuff to do:

• Nur needs to start exercise regularly
• Bayar puase balik. Should be 5 more days
• 16 July - GEMS assignment
• 17 July start filming
  
• 18 July - IDD first draft then at night go out with her Ayun. Kalau nak join sila picit.
  
• 22 July - Monthly Anniversary. Her Ayun will pick her up from school. Let's eat Ya Kun
• 26 July - Girlfriends outing
  
• 30 July - VAF assignment
  
• 31 July - MC. CL training thingy. Later at noon masuk JB ramai2

Ok. So mama gave Nur the green light to masuk Johor isi minyak then out. But Nur will try to psycho. Kahaha... Confirm boleh....

Nur's lecturer is back. See ya'll!

Love,
Nur

Monday Blues

Monday always sucks. Today woke up late. Nur was suppose to wake up at 0745hr but instead she woke up an one hour later. She reached class 1030hr when class was suppposed to be at 1000hr. hehehe... Miss quite alot but Sukri helped Nur out.... This InDesign thingy quite confusing. And Sharlin was like too fast. Nobody can really catch up. Nur should listen instead of blogging. Hahahah....

Well, this morning was quite a shocked. Nur's cat is one naughty girl. Everything was a mess at the living room. She actually broke this... errr... tak tau lah aper bende tu but it's like a bottle thingy made of clay which Nur bought from Cameron Highland for her dad. Nur was so mad that she shouted at Baby. Nur picked up the broken pieces and Baby just sat there looking at Nur. Baby must be feeling so guilty. So freaking mad at Baby. Just why can't she sit still. She is so crazy. Sometimes out of the blue, she just ran from nothing. Weird cat! Just like her owner.

Nur better buck up!

Sometimes The Grass Isn't Greener

Nur is a bad girl. Nur is a bad girl. Nur is a bad girl. Nur is a bad girl. Nur is a bad girl. Nur is a bad girl....

You know back in those school days where you talked in class or did not do homework, you will have to write like 100 lines of it. "I will not talk in class".... hahahahahah

Nur is a bad girl. Just a way to remind herself. Her Ayun is a good boyfriend. Maybe Nur went too far. Nur was like Bo Ra from Snow Queen. What an emotional wreck bitch! Nur deserve to be kick 'KAPOW', and roll down, masuk dalam longkang. TEBABO! Terlalu mengikutkan perasaan agakye. Ok lah! Ok lah! Nur made such a big fucking deal out of everything. But still....

Nur would NEVER hate her Ayun. It just the anger that make her said what she shouldn't had said. Maybe Nur was hurting inside that she just wanted to get back at him. But somehow it hurts her too when she was hurting him. And it hurts her even more when she just turned around and walked away from him.

If one day her Ayun gets to know a girl who is nicer than her, please tell Nur. If she can really make her Ayun happy, Nur is willing to let him go. Because Nur don't deserve someone as good as her Ayun. :--( <---- Is this what crying looks like?

Maybe Nur is not normal. Nur is never normal. So Nur read this Reader's Digest 'Did You Know' section, 'Why we cry when we laugh?'. When Nur was laughing so hard, tears come out. So Nur can be happy and sad at the same time. Ok. Lame. So it stated that after a big laughing jag, tears are a sign that the body is returning to normal. See? Nur is never normal. Girls are weird. Their hormones are like totally crazy especially PMS. And this Whiser commercial. Have a Happy Period. Since when having a menses makes you have a happy period?

Nur Hidayah loves Airul so much! SORRY AYUN!

"Sometimes we wish for the better
When we have it good as it gets
Sometimes the grass isn't greener
soon as we find out, we forget
Sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really don't mean it all"
- Babyface: Sorry For The Stupid Things

Empty Inside

Here is Nur blogging in before going to sleep. Nur needs the urge of bursting. The title says it all. Nur nowadays feeling so empty. She doesn't know why. She's happy outside but not inside. Why Nur like crying almost every night before sleeping?

People do change. For the better or for the worse. Her Ayun has change. Like Nur said in her previous blog. Although not a huge or drastic ones. Nur feels that her relationship is not the same anymore. Her Ayun seems like a different person. Let's see. The Ayun before. He spent more time with her. He will some what sacrificed his work for her. He used to be so excited going out with Nana, Hajar, Sop and Syawal.

Talking about Nana sume, today Nur asked Ayun about 26 July outing. Which was like 2 weeks later. Still have time to take off. But he rather work. That wasn't the case before. To set the record straight, Nur is not being unreasonable. She loves how hardworking Airul is. Besides spending time with Nur, he needs to spend time with his friends too. And Nur doesn't stop him from doing that. It's just that they kind of drifted apart. That's how Nur feels or observe. Nisa even asked Nur whether they are still together. Her Ayun may have not notice it or maybe he just denies it.

Nur will soon come to her decision. She felt nothing inside. No emotions. No more excitement when she sees her Ayun. Nur doen't want to hurt her Ayun. Throwing away those five years is a foolish thing to do. But Nur needs her space. She needs to think. She wants him to let her go. For a while. Let Nur be free just for a while. If Nur ever comes back to him, then they belong together. But still, Nur needs to think twice before she makes a stupid decision.

Nur is buying bicycle. Nur is tired. Nur is going to sleep. Nur don't want to think anymore.

The First Experience

Nur first experience of driving alone was damn kecoh. She was going to meet Ayun after he was back from Batam and decided to pick him up and go jalan-jalan. So here it goes. Nur was thinking why the hell the metre light on the dashboard and everything was not on. And what's with the brake sign? So after she waited for Ayun and he came down and she started the car. She asked him why there's no light? Ayun sensed something weird like "Where's your headlight?". So she turned on and suddenly lightly hit something. Ayun laughed. "Why the hell the windscreen wiper at the back was moving?" Hahaha.... And as they started to move Ayun said, "Your braked." "Kecoh sey dayni!"....

So for the 10 minutes ride from Nur's house to Ayun's, she did not turned the headlight and the brake was not release. Nur thought auto doesn't need that. Yeah, because Nur learned how to drive manual so there's a little different here and there. Hahah... Her Ayun laughed at her. Of she laughed at herself. That was so silly.

Nur thinks that she is ready to drive without someone beside her. Nur need to get back to her assignment. Not working today. Don't know why. Buh bye.

Long Time No See!

So long never write in. In fact so busy. But then, not at all. Let's see what's new

1. Silantra
2. Nisa is back!!!! Nur like!!!
3. People resigned or been terminated.
4. Nur can drive :)
5. Nur went home at 3am for the first time.... hehe
6. Ayun and friends at Batam
7. It's over.
8. Nur needs to update her blog templates & some links & something something

Let's summarize.

What's over? Hhmm... The misunderstanding, she guessed. Nur blamed Her Adorable Ayun. This was like not the first but the third, guess so. Because he just likes to give people wrong ideas. Ah! Dah lepas, lupekan aje.

Hhmmm... what else? Nur is in class. Acutally it's break time. Tak go break ke? Nur is not a heavy eater. Nur usually on a diet. But Nur already had breakfast which will kind of last her the whole day. Yup. Nur is weird or rather insane. She has a low BP. And talking about diet, Nur decided to make a deal. Well, her own deal which her boyfriend doesn't know. Nur felt that Her Adorable Ayun has change quite a bit since Silantra. Nah! Nur don't blame Silantra. They are a bunch of immature, giler, pecah perut, gerek bunch of people. Yeah! Bunch bunch. It's just that he did stuff he never done before. Well, he did before but Nur doesn't like. So if Nur ever find out, ever smells or ever sees, for that one day, Nur will starve for one day. If two, two days. Wow! Smoking really helps to lose weight. People may say or think what's the biggie dealie, well, it's not. Nur just doesn't like. Anyways, he been warned. Nur told him that if he doesn't like to get scolded by Nur, she suggested he do it behind her back. Even if it means he has another girl. Nur is being naive. Lives in denial. Lie to Nur.

Farrah told Nur why she's not jealous when her Ayun kind of quite close with a certain girl. Simple. Trust plays an important role.

Nur can't wait for her Ayun to return home from Batam. He went there with other McRiders, for 2 days. Nur hope to get some goodies. Wee Woo!!

Nur needs to go to class. Other class is coming in. But most important of all, Nur needs to pee!!